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Nicole's Corner: Finding Stability

If You Are Looking For Stability….

Definition: not likely to give way or overturn; firmly fixed.

Is there even such a thing? In a time where our lives have been anything but stable, more and more people seem to be looking for something that they can count on. A stable job, a stable relationship, a stable life. Most people want stability because the opposite means that things change constantly, and most people are uncomfortable with change.

Change is scary, it’s unknown. And so, instead of having the confidence to handle anything that comes our way, we look for ways to keep things the same, known.

The unfortunate part of this way of thinking, is that nothing is stable. The pandemic taught us this. Things changed in an instant and it was completely out of our control. They say the only thing constant in life is change. If that is true, then looking for stability is an impossible feat. The only thing to do is learn how to ride the waves of life, not fight them. John F. Kennedy said, “Do not pray for an easier life, pray to be stronger men.” The only way to feel calm and stable as life continues to change is to feel secure in who you are and your ability to navigate whatever comes your way.

5 ways to increase your feeling of security:

1. Be Solution Oriented

If you constantly look at the problems, you run the risk of not being in control of your life. While we can’t control everything that happens to us, we can control how we react. Get in the habit of looking for solutions. Have the mindset “I can figure this out.” Our brains are creative and intuitive. Even if we are somewhere we’ve never been before, we can find a way to get what we want. Just focus on possibilities and you will find a way.

2. Continuously Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

If it’s hard, good. If it’s new, good. Stop running away from these things. Confidence comes from continuously putting yourself in new situations and overcoming obstacles. When you are comfortable outside of your comfort zone, new things don’t scare you.


Take time to quiet your mind. When things are stressful, busy, changing, etc., give yourself time to process. Spend time in a calming environment. Perspective tends to change, emotion lowers, and logic prevails. Instead of reacting involuntarily, we give ourselves time to choose how we want to respond.

4.Know Yourself

What do you really know about yourself? I’m not talking about your favorite food or your zodiac sign. Who are you, really? Are you the kind of person that commits and sees things through? Do you give up when things get tough? Are you easily persuaded based on what other people are doing? Do you grow stronger in the face of adversity? If you know yourself, you can find confidence in your ability to navigate the unknown. Even if you are an anxious person and easily stressed, knowing that is the first step to DOING something about it!

5. Surround Yourself With The Right People

You are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time around. Are they confident, action-oriented people? Do they avoid challenges and potential risk? Do they complain about the things around them, or do they focus on what they control? Feeling secure comes from within. Spend time with people who have that feeling and they will teach you to do the same.

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