Over the years of running a business, confidence has been a big part of the coaching that I give to young professionals. Confidence is something that I believe a lot of people struggle with. Most high achieving people struggle with feeling like they are not good enough because the bar by which they measure themselves is so high. There is so much comparison, so much judgement, so much self-doubt. Because of this, I recently ran a workshop for our company all about increasing confidence. It was a 4 week long workshop, completely optional, and all I asked was that if people wanted to participate, that they commit to the entire time and the homework that went along with it. We had a great turnout, got a lot of great feedback, and I decided to share a summary of the content we went over.
Tips to Build Confidence
Doing things for yourself sends a subconscious message that you are worthy of being taken care of. Self-care is different for everyone. What fills you up? What gives you energy? What do you need? Most of us put ourselves last, thinking that other things are more pressing or more important. You can still accomplish everything you want if you take care of yourself first. In fact, you’re more likely to succeed at everything else in your life by showing up at your best.
Positive Self Talk:
Studies show that the language we use and the language we allow into our conscious minds eventually gets into our subconscious and becomes our reality. How we feel about ourselves is directly related to the messaging we are receiving. Normally, the loudest voice is our own. Practice gratitude, listen to affirmations, write down a list of your strengths. It feels awkward at first, but if you do it often enough for long enough, you start to change the way you talk to yourself, increasing self-confidence.
Remember Past Successes:
Why is it that our successes seem to fade from memory, but our failures remain ever present in the forefront of our minds? Sometimes we need a little help reminding ourselves of the things we have accomplished, the things we should be proud of. Make a list of things you have accomplished in your life. Write down no less than 10 things. If you can make the list bigger, go for it. Then, for 21 days, every night before you go to bed, write down a list of 5 things that you are proud of from that day. Notice the great effort, the kindness, the intelligence that you put forth every day. The smallest things go unnoticed. This can be a really hard exercise, but if you push yourself to complete it, you will start to look at the way you live your life with pride.
Follow Through on Commitments:
When we don’t follow through on the things we say we are going to do, we lose trust in ourselves. The very definition of confidence is about having trust in something. The less we trust ourselves, the less we have confidence in ourselves. If you frequently lack follow through (Ex: I said I was going to go to the gym this morning, but I hit snooze and went back to sleep, I said I would go on a diet, but I’ll just skip it today, etc.), start small. Under promise and over deliver. Instead of going on a full blow diet, can I add healthier foods each day? Instead of going to the gym 7 days a week, can I go at least 4? The more I keep commitments and follow through, the better I feel about myself.